9/21/2026
where have i been?
Alright! Just closed a major chapter, which is really more of a beginning.
So, the aforementioned insane opportunity. It did, in fact, pan out. I was cast as the lead in a really exciting play in a completely unique format which not only paid a real wage (in constrast to the community theatre I've been doing) but really showcases my best strengths as an actor. This past month consisted of me working at my office job from 8:30am-5:30pm then rehearsing 7pm-10:30pm every single weekday, plus another 3.5 hour rehearsal saturday mornings. This all culminated in a sold out world premiere this past friday, and successful follow-up matinee and evening performances the next day. That concluded our local shows, and now we will take the show on tour all over the country, which feels too cool to be real but it is. The show is in a unique and bonkers format that made it absolutely incredible for the audience, which is a relief because it was an insane labor to produce, learn, and perform. I'm so relieved to be free of all the rehearsal and I'm incredibly proud of the show we put on and I'm so excited to get on the road.
I'm hesitant to spill too many details here for like, safety purposes lol but if anyone is curious and wants to know more, drop ur email in a comment and I can follow up with some more info! Who knows? I could be coming to a performing arts center near you! It's a ridiculously cool show, with nerds and kids and the kid at heart as the target audience. It's got adventure, action, and lots of heart (as well as insane voice acting, beautiful original art, score, and script, and live foley done by yours truly and my fellow performers). I usually hesitate to hype up my shows too much, but this one is incredibly special.
5/5/2026
in the moment
I'm functioning on a low setting, letting things pile as the doom sets in. I'm having fun and I'm scared.
I've been presented with an insane opportunity I'm hesitant to write about here though in real life I've been telling anyone who will listen. I think it'll all be finalized this week if I don't fuck it up. I haven't been preparing as I should, but I have hope that I can lock in when I'm faced with my collaborators tonight. I'll return to elaborate after this trial.
Obsessed with music lately. Trying to be a more serious guitarist after skill plateauing the last like 6 years. Getting into a doom vibe. Just bought a little big muff. I can't WAITIITITITI for it to get here.
I'm living my best gay life right now. I'm being loud and messy and laughing too hard at everything. I'm being avoidant but showing up in spite of it all. I have lines to learn and time is running out. I have to pull through. I'm going to pull through.
2/24/2026
i luhh to get 2 on
Today's lunch break was delicious and indulgent in a brand new way. Spongebob big guy pants ok. Walked to the park and claimed the dormant splash pad to practice chasse tour jetes and tombe pas de bourre glissade saut de chats and balance waltz combos. My pencil skirt tried and failed to contain me. Relished and savoured the pressing, comfortable warmth of the pre-spring sun. To many it is too hot but to me it is perfect. I love the compressing caressing deep radiating heat. Warm me to the marrow.
1/17/2026
a time of benign rebellion
I don't come here so much these days.
I write in my journal nearly every day, sharpsoft graphite to milky lined paper. I take great pleasure in filling my calendar with happy hours and rehearsals and parties and friends' performances and shopping days with diner breakfast and favors for friends and dinner and drinks nights on the town.
Been getting in minor trouble lately. Got shushed at a play with a friend while trapped in a silly situation. We deserved it. I have no regrets. Snuck in the back entrance of a cool local music show. Caught the end of the set (it was awesome) before the entire place was cleared out by security so they could recount the occupants. I laugh my ass off with my coworker every day and get caught slipping.
I say yes to social obligations and even initiate them myself. I keep my word and follow through. I buy christmas and birthday gifts. I text back when I can. I talk to my friends on the phone, sometimes for hours.
I doomscroll less than ever. I get stuck instead singing with my guitar. I play for hours until I've ruined my chances of a full night's sleep. I walk without headphones and usually drive without music. I myself do the singing.
I'm watching schlocky and exploitative old horror movies again. I post on Instagram instead of pretending like I'm not on there because it's really not a big deal. I'm hoping to take more pictures this year. I still don't watch TV. Not really reading, either.
I sought not to rush back into any acting projects before I'd had ample time to rest from the last play. I worried for only a moment about falling behind, seeing my peers with more already lined up. The projects found me, though. I was offered a role in a short comedy for our local fringe play festival which I accepted and am enjoying immensely. Someone reached out to me about a featured extra role in an upcoming short horror comedy film. A peer recommended me to them and they offered for me to submit an audition, which I did, and I got it. I got the email with the offer during my halfsleep morning rebellion time where I procrastinate getting out of bed for work and make myself at least 15 minutes late. I caught air the way I sprang out of bed. I have so much to look forward to.
I'm going on a road trip with my friends soon, to NOLA for Mardi Gras. I've never been. I'm preparing to have the most fun of my entire life, and a beautiful time with my lovely friends.
I'm inspired in fashion again after a long slump. Getting dressed has been a joy. I'm experiencing my closet in a new way. I've not really been shopping.
I've been ordering old fashioneds due to the influence of a friend.
I'm letting myself be messy and make mistakes and be loud and opinionated and visible.
I don't know how to flirt and I need to figure it out quickly.