10/31/2024

Shopping is a stimulant drug.

Yesterday i did my favorite thing in the world which is skipping work and shopping on a weekday. I got myself a giant iced latte and made my way to Goodwill, where I took my time perusing the racks. I piled my cart high and spent at least an hour in the dressing room trying things on. Thrifting is really most fun for me when I'm left to my own devices and free to take as obnoxiously long as I want.

In my last entry I discussed needing clothes to wear to dance class and this trip solved all my problems. I now have a variety of warm cute dance/loungewear to get me through the fall and winter. I am so glad I didn't resort to Amazon or overpaying at like Lululemon. There is such an insane abundance of high-quality athleticwear at thrift shops you'd be a fool not to take advantage. The haul was a pair of hot pink hotpants (how could I resist?), a more conservative, longer looser pair of black shorts which will be great for Contemporary class, a supersoft heather grey pair of capri length low rise leggings that are really sexy somehow, a long highwaisted also supersoft pair of baby blue leggings, and a pair of dark grey calvin klein sweatpants for when I need to throw something warm on over my dance outfit for the ride over. Oh, and a plain baby pink pullover sweatshirt that will also be great to thrown on over a leotard.

Lately I've been watching Friends. I'm currently in Season 4 and the fashion is just sooo good. I think the main reason is just that the clothes FIT so well. They must have had them tailored to the actors. The thing about clothes that FIT is that it's impossible to not slay. It could be the most boring, mundane outfit. Blue jeans, white shirt (walkedintotheroomyouknowyoumademyeyesburn) and a solid pair of boots look like the greatest outfit ever if it FITS.

I found myself coveting simple, colorful sweaters worn by Monica and Rachel, lamenting that I had never found a sweater in that style that actually hugs the body and doesn't gap unattractively at the small of the back.

The thrift gods were on my side yesterday, though. I found 2 stunning, gorgeous old cable-knit turtleneck sweaters, one in a shamrock shade of green JUST like one I saw Rachel wearing (okay, hers was a v neck but stilll) and another in a stunning Mean-Girls-esque baby pink that each fit me beautifully. I couldn't believe my luck.

Bright greens and baby pinks and baby blues are the colors calling me most right now. Not the traditional autumn color scheme but i don't care.

Speaking of green, I also got this FABULOUS bright spring green vertical striped button down shirt that looked completely fabulous tucked into a pair of straight leg jeans.

Also got a lovely long brown ribbed cardigan with toggle closures and a fur hood that I think will be perfect for those cool Texas days where a true jacket isn't really warranted. Also a little light pink cropped knit short-sleeve shrug that I think will be good for both the office AND for dance.

Acquired a belt as well, which is nothing short of revolutionary since the only everyday belt I owned had deteriorated into unwearability, limiting my wardrobe options. Now I can hold my jeans up, till i can find an even nicer belt for long term.

Long story short, I have my fall/winter dance and office wardrobe SORTED. What could be better?

The stimulant effect of the rush of shopping kicked in as I handed over the cash (my $100 stipend for being in that play this summer which I had been saving for a rainy day. The way I see it, this haul was FREE. girl math or whatever).

When I got home I was magically able to do all the cleaning tasks in my house which I had been avoiding for weeks if not months. I felt more productive and driven than when I take actual stimulant drugs. Compared to my normal cleaning and maintenance habits, I was in a downright benign mania. Shopping is just that powerful. I even reorganized my clothes, washed them ALL (which i never do) and removed things from my closet that no longer spark joy.

I love shopping I love shopping I love shopping.

10/18/2024

Now that I take regular ballet classes, I find myself more and more concerned with the intersetction of fashion and dance. In the practical sense, what should I wear on my way to class over my dance clothes? There are some well-established codes of dress with seasoned dancers. A pair of close-fitting but still somehow loose sweatpants seems to be a staple. I don't really have those. I tend to just wear my leotard with little shorts over my tights which I roll up for a relaxed look, and some kind of shirt over top. Now that the temperature is going down I don't think I can get away with that much longer. There's something so appealing about having beautiful cozy effortless dance outerwear that can be layered and mixed and matched.

My current dance uniform is almost as basic as can be. Black princess-neckline tank leotard over pink transition tights with a pair of black spandex shorts for a bit of modesty. The girls who have been dancing a while all wear skirts. I'm thinking about getting one. My only accessory I have for class at the moment is a pair of mauve thigh-high ribbed legwarmers. I've noticed that the stirrup style I have is a bit, um, retro? I'm trying not to say outated. But still cute and I like them and I will continue to wear them. The ones that are really trendy with the serious dancers are the silky flared legwarmers. They are so cute and I want a pair but feel somehow that I have to prove myself first. Otherwise I'd be the only beginnerish casual dancer to be wearing them.

I love the little shrugs and would love one for myself. Perhaps in a light pink or heather grey. I'd also like some grey ribbed leg warmers and some light pink ones.

When i was in dance against my will as a kid I thought the serious dancer girls dressed sooo cool. The looks function as kind of a status symbol and badge of honor. Usually little tiny soffe shorts were worn over a worn pair of pink tights that had been cut into a capri length. Small rings were cut from the bottom of the tights to create a choker. The really cool girls who took the most dance classes usually wore a stack of tights-chokers, which could be shared and traded. Then, on top, there might be a leotard as the base but more likely there were no fewer than 2 but usually around 3 or 4 layers of tank tops, along with extra straps coming from the bra. The more straps the better. I always wanted to replicate the look but like, man, how does one acquire that many tank tops to have different layered combinations every day at the dance studio? Often times an oversized studio-logo t-shirt was worn, often with the neckline cut out and worn off shoulder. Hairstyle of choice was a big messy bun.

I'm still finding my footing in re-entering the dance world. I think I should just buy some sweatpants to wear to class and that'll solve my immediate problems.

9/19/2024

It's been a while since I've shopped. I'm not keeping track, but I think it's been over a month at this point and it's odd to admit that this is the first time in a very long time that I've gone this long without buying clothes or shoes or accessories either online or in person.

I'm using this as an opportunity to really analyze and fine-tune my style. To identify the things that I live in and wear repeatedly and what I try to avoid. I'm allowing myself to wear outfits and experiment with pieces I may not even like, just to get myself out the door on time, build character, and identify what I don't like as well as what I do.

The past few weeks I've worn the exact same pair of shoes every day: black patent leather 2.5ish in high block heel square-toe mary janes I got recently (one of the last purchases before the no-buy began). These shoes have completely revolutionized my closet and have unlocked lots of clothes and combinations for me that I felt like I couldn't wear before because I just didn't have the right shoes that also fit me. These shoes, to me, go with almost everything and now that I've broken them in I'm perfectly comfortable walking in the heel all day. I like the lengthening and toning effect on the legs and the look can be varied in many ways with different socks, tights, pants, skirts, you name it. I love the heel because it makes the sweet girly shoe associated with youth feel more grown up.

These shoes filled the gaps in my closet I couldn't even identify and I now feel like I have a pretty workable collection of pieces. It's a relef to feel that way. I am very grateful for these cheap amazon shoes. Mary janes are a huge trend now but I've loved and worn them all my life and think I will continue to wear them often even after their popularity diminishes.

Personal style is repetition. Besides the mary janes, what have I been repeating lately?

I've been preferring light colors lately, though I still love the impact of a mostly-black outfit sprinkled in here and there. I don't think black suits me as an everyday thing, but it has its place in my style.

I prefer wearing skirts over pants, but I suspect if I had a pair or 2 of really perfectly-tailored trousers (one high rise and one mid rise) I would wear them often. I'm keeping that in mind for when I'm open to shopping again.

When I do wear pants I have been gravitating to my black skinny pants that I roll under and pin in place to create capris/pedal pushers. It's a nice way to make my officewear more summary and fashion-forward. I don't see anyone else in real life wearing capris, except maybe as activewear.

I've been a fan of plaid skirts since I was a kid. I had a blue plaid pleated mini skirt in the 5th grade I wore as often as I could because it made me feel cuter than anything else. Now I have 2 plaid skirts in my rotation: a knee-length blue and white genuine school uniform skirt that wraps around and buttons closed, with pleats on the side and back a smooth flat front, and a mini-er (not too mini for work, thankfully) maroon and blue pleated circle skirt. Neither is my dream iteration of a plaid skirt. Because I know I can count on myself to wear and wear a plaid skirt, I hope to one day find and invest in a beautiful wool plaid well-fitting a-line mini skirt, completely smooth and flat with no pleats. Burberry, I'm sure, is the brand that will fulfill these requirements.

Even though they're comfortable I don't like wearing tennis shoes unless I'm quite literally doing sports. I just don't have a pair that really fits in with the rest of my style identity. They are purely practical. It'd be cool to find a sneaker sometime that I can incorporate into my casual outfits. Perhaps I should take a note from my past self and get back into Converse? I was obsessed and they were the only shoes I wore from ages 11 to 16. They've still held up as a timeless classic casual shoe. I won't get any though until I run my current casual sneakers (high top lilac and white checkered vans) that I've had for like 5 years into the ground. Which won't be any time soon because I wear them so infrequently they're still in amazing condition. Perhaps I should just try to fall in love with the shoe I already have and find ways to use them as much as possible.

I'm really trying to adopt a mentality of using the things I have up completely before buying a new one. Just being tired or bored of it just isn't really as good a reason to spend money and add clutter to my home as it used to feel like it was.

I think I should be allowed to buy a belt. The only everyday belt I have is literally disintegrating. Another one I had I wore until it ripped in half. I have earned a belt. I'm going to buy a belt. Where do you buy nice belts for not a billion dollars?

I'm also trying to adopt a mentality of, if I want something, starting with buying the cheapest version of it and if I use it enough that it literally breaks, I'll know it'll be worth investing/splurging in a nicer version for the long-term. I will certainly be doing that when my mary janes die. A pair of leather Margiela tabi mary janes are my absolute ideal, as long as they're comfortable. I'd love to wear them for years and see how they change over time.

It's important that I come to terms with the fact that even though I generally try to consume as ethically as possible by thrifting, it's still overconsumption if I do it more than I need and don't use the things I have. This is me growing up. It feels good.

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9/10/2024

This is not going to be organized I am just going to let the thoughts flow. Here's some things I'm into right now:

• polka dots
• mary janes
• heels
• a-line skirts
• showing lots of leg
• light-colored tights
• micro-mini shorts
• tight capri pants
• structured yet breathable fabrics
• showing lots of torso
• pink
• office siren vibes
• straight leg relaxed jeans
• Big blowout hair
• hair bows
• stripes

I was chatting with a friend recently about micro-trendy -cores and aesthetics. I think many of them are silly and reductive and disconnected from real life with one major exception: Office Siren. There is something so compelling about it to me. Probably because my fashion inspiration has long been (for years if not decades before Office Siren as a term was even coined) my mother dressing for her office job in the early 2000s.

At first I resented the term emtering public consciousness as an seo buzzword because I feared that people would think that I was simply following the trend and that the aesthetic would be run into the ground online and render my personal style overexposed and obsolete within a few months. I now know that having a strong sense of personal style completely transcends all those cores and aesthetics. That, and realizing that Office Siren is really only A Thing in niche communities online and that most people in real life have never heard the term and do not care in the slightest. Since real life is where my style is perceived the vast majority of the time (I hardly ever post on socials) my worries have been rendered silly and moot.

In any case, there is no other self-identified Office Siren doing it quite like I am. The sheer practicality of the aesthetic and application to my real life makes it perfect for me.

Allowing myself to lean into my vocation and dress myself as I would a character in a movie has brought me so much joy and fulfillment. Even if I sometimes dread the work, the 8 hours in a freezing office, I can romanticize it by wearing outfits that makes me feel like a heightened, confident, stylized version of myself.

My job is super regular and mundane. But that doesn't mean that dressing for the job means my outfits should be mundane. Wearing my stylized little outfits feels like a celebration of where I am in life. I didn't used to have to get dressed for work. Now I do and it's one of the best parts of my life and one of the most important expressions of who I am. Why shouldn't I celebrate every day? I'm proud to be a pink-collar worker and I'm going to look hot while I do it.